I still am steadfast about not taking student loans and am putting forth more effort into finding and applying for scholarships. If you know of any that might sound like something I qualify for, please pass them along.
With that being said, I am so proud of the fact that I received my very first scholarship. I have known about it since late Spring but they just now updated the website announcing the 2013 winners. You can see that list here. There were 254 recipients receiving $1,000, and all of us are military spouses. I was asked to write an essay about what advice I would give a new military spouse on how to balance their new military life with family, job, education, etc. And here it is:
Being a military spouse is one of the most rewarding titles
I have, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been difficult. Military spouses are faced with the
challenges of everyday life just as any other spouse would be. However, there
are added challenges to being a military spouse. There is an old saying,
“married to the military,” and in essence you are. It’s important and healthy
for you to create goals, work, and/or raise a family. However, your spouse’s
career and mission will always take priority in your life and may require huge
personal sacrifices of your own, but there are ways to find balance so you can
achieve your goals as well.
Your spouse has agreed to live their life as “service before
self.” Being married to a military member means you need to understand there
will be times when your spouse will be gone for long periods of time. Consequently,
you will be left to pick up the pieces in the wake of their obligations. The
most important thing to understand is your spouse would rather be with you, but
can’t. Always remember that! If you get upset before they leave, or relay the
message you can’t function without them, you are setting them up for failure.
They cannot do their mission/job effectively or safely if they are worried
about home. It is your job to make them feel like everything is okay, so they can keep their mind focused
and come back home safely to you.
Easier said than done, correct?! It’s okay to feel like you
can’t function without them, it’s okay to be upset and angry, and it’s okay to
be selfish and think it’s unfair. I get it! We all get it! The biggest piece of
advice I can give you is to meet other spouses. You are not alone! The
community of military spouses understands all the feelings and difficulties
that come with our responsibilities and we will always be there to help you
through the difficult times.
It’s also important to do things for yourself. If you worked
before you got married, continue; or if you desire to work now, start
searching. Yes, it’s difficult to maintain a career while moving every few
years but it can be done. The same also applies if you’re getting an education,
or desire to. It may take longer if you need to transfer due to a move, but it
can be done. Getting a job, or going to school will help you make ties in the
community and can help you feel balanced with your military life. In addition,
when you are involved in different communities you are learning to be flexible,
independent, and diverse which are all great characteristics to possess.
The best way to maintain a balanced family life is to really
live in each moment you have with your military member. Go out and create
memories. Sometimes it is nice to leave your military community, even if for
one night or a day trip, to reconnect. There are so many things in our life
that we cannot control, but we can take control of our personal relationships.
Always take the time to build on those. These memories will sustain you through
the difficult times. If you have children, it will comfort them when they are
dealing with their own feelings about their military parent.
When you stand up and say you are a military spouse, say it
with the honor and pride which comes with it, but always know it’s not
everything you are.
