My VERY First Scholarship...

I started my post-secondary education back in 2006 and I have never received a scholarship of any sort during that whole time until this school year. Lots of grants but never a scholarship. This comes at a good time due to the fact that obtaining a master's degree is much more expensive and the only type of financial aid you can receive is in the form of student loans. Which I have already wrote about before, in this blog "How I Walked Away From Student Loans."

I still am steadfast about not taking student loans and am putting forth more effort into finding and applying for scholarships. If you know of any that might sound like something I qualify for, please pass them along.

With that being said, I am so proud of the fact that I received my very first scholarship. I have known about it since late Spring but they just now updated the website announcing the 2013 winners. You can see that list here. There were 254 recipients receiving $1,000, and all of us are military spouses. I was asked to write an essay about what advice I would give a new military spouse on how to balance their new military life with family, job, education, etc.  And here it is:

Being a military spouse is one of the most rewarding titles I have, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been difficult.  Military spouses are faced with the challenges of everyday life just as any other spouse would be. However, there are added challenges to being a military spouse. There is an old saying, “married to the military,” and in essence you are. It’s important and healthy for you to create goals, work, and/or raise a family. However, your spouse’s career and mission will always take priority in your life and may require huge personal sacrifices of your own, but there are ways to find balance so you can achieve your goals as well.

Your spouse has agreed to live their life as “service before self.” Being married to a military member means you need to understand there will be times when your spouse will be gone for long periods of time. Consequently, you will be left to pick up the pieces in the wake of their obligations. The most important thing to understand is your spouse would rather be with you, but can’t. Always remember that! If you get upset before they leave, or relay the message you can’t function without them, you are setting them up for failure. They cannot do their mission/job effectively or safely if they are worried about home. It is your job to make them feel like everything  is okay, so they can keep their mind focused and come back home safely to you. 

Easier said than done, correct?! It’s okay to feel like you can’t function without them, it’s okay to be upset and angry, and it’s okay to be selfish and think it’s unfair. I get it! We all get it! The biggest piece of advice I can give you is to meet other spouses. You are not alone! The community of military spouses understands all the feelings and difficulties that come with our responsibilities and we will always be there to help you through the difficult times.

It’s also important to do things for yourself. If you worked before you got married, continue; or if you desire to work now, start searching. Yes, it’s difficult to maintain a career while moving every few years but it can be done. The same also applies if you’re getting an education, or desire to. It may take longer if you need to transfer due to a move, but it can be done. Getting a job, or going to school will help you make ties in the community and can help you feel balanced with your military life. In addition, when you are involved in different communities you are learning to be flexible, independent, and diverse which are all great characteristics to possess. 

    

The best way to maintain a balanced family life is to really live in each moment you have with your military member. Go out and create memories. Sometimes it is nice to leave your military community, even if for one night or a day trip, to reconnect. There are so many things in our life that we cannot control, but we can take control of our personal relationships. Always take the time to build on those. These memories will sustain you through the difficult times. If you have children, it will comfort them when they are dealing with their own feelings about their military parent. 

When you stand up and say you are a military spouse, say it with the honor and pride which comes with it, but always know it’s not everything you are.

Christmas Castles on the Rhine & River Cruise

This post is a little late as we took this tour on the 22nd. I debated about posting because our pictures turned out awful. At our first stop, the castle, we were there at dawn and if there is no natural light our pictures suck. Neither Doug or I know how to use our cameras out of auto mode. For years we have been saying we really need to take a photography class but we never actually get around to doing it. I finally decided to blog about it so I can say a little about what we saw. 

Our first stop was at one of the famous Rhine River castles, Burg Reichenstein. It is one of the oldest castles on the Rhine as it was built in the 11th century. It was destroyed and rebuilt at least three times. The inside was filled with period furniture and it displayed a collection of arms and armor. 

Burg Reichenstein Castle, picture from the internet. 

After the tour we had some tasty treats of cake and coffee at the castle and then made our way up the river. Along the river are many other castles. Below is a picture of one.

At this point we went to a wine tasting. One of the wines was Eiswein (Ice Wine). We learned that the grapes to produce this wine are harvested in the late fall after they have froze while on the vine. It is a very good dessert wine. We also got to taste a lot of different flavored German Brandy. I believe this is the same stuff my Uncle Joe makes, except Uncle Joe's is much stronger! I may have to send him some.

After the wine tasting we boarded a boat to take a cruise up the Rhine to our next destination. On the boat we had a traditional Rudesheimer coffee made with Asbach Brandy. Doug and I are not brandy drinkers and our first sip we thought we had wasted our money. However, the more sips we took the better it got. I'd order it again!

Rudesheimer Coffee

Once we arrived at our final destination, Rudesheim, we had a typical German lunch of schnitzel and fries along with another wine tasting. Once we were done eating we took a cable car ride up to Niederwald Monument. This monument commemorates the establishment of the German empire in 1871.

The vineyards view from our cable car ride.

Niederwald Monument

We spent the last few hours in Rudesheim exploring their Christmas Market of the Nations. We all picked out some ornaments to bring home with us and had some more tasty treats.

My cup of Gluhwein and Cam's Kinder-Gluhwein.

Thanksgiving Weekend...

Cameron and I spent Thanksgiving weekend together as Doug was in the states visiting Dougie at his Mom and Stepdad's house in Cleveland. It has been such an adjustment to have Dougie away at college, but when it is just Cam and I it feels strange all around. I suppose thats what happens when you have kids. They won't be there forever. Lord help me when Cam goes to college! Anyway, Cam and I decided to venture off on our own to experience a German Christmas Market for the first time. I was a little hesitant as I don't like to drive here but we went to Mainz. I have driven though a couple times with Doug so I felt confident I could manage without any major mishaps. We had a good time. Our mission was to have some tasty treats and we did. Although I would have liked to have some gluwhein (mulled wine) I just had to settle on buying some bottles of wine. I meant to make it last, but dang, this German wine is so good. 

The 36' Christmas pyramid that was home base for  Cam and I if we were to get separated. Thankfully, we were not!

Nativity scene with life-sized figures made of limewood.

Cam and his bratwurst. By the way, that is a half. Good thing we didn't order the whole one. 

Douglas store. Of course I had to take a picture of that. 

We left the busy market to explore some of the side streets.  

On our little expedition on the side streets of Mainz we came across this hidden cathedral. 

We were pleasantly surprise with what was inside! 

One little decimal point...

Yes, one little decimal point has become one of my BIGGEST blunders. It has caused me grief for nearly 8 months now. It has allowed the IRS to enter my life and feel their wrath. It's a long story….

I have always done our taxes. I'm pretty confident with my abilities to understand tax lingo. I have successfully been able to do our taxes for the last 10 years or so. Even after acquiring an investment property, I know what I am doing. So…come late February of this year I worked our taxes using a software program I have used for years. Once I was done I thought to myself "Gee, that seems awfully high." I proceeded to do it again and got the same number. Okay…. Did it a third time and nothing changed. I kept trying to tell myself it was right due to Doug being deployed the entire year of 2012. For those of you not familiar, his income is non-taxable while deployed to certain areas such as Afghanistan. His W-2, box 1 literally had zero in it. We also took a large loss on our rental property. I rationalized the large income tax return to these circumstances and submitted our return on March 3rd. 

Low and behold…about 3 weeks later we received a letter from the IRS stating our return was being reviewed. Not an audit, but a review. I wasn't surprised. I believe that letter was dated March 15th and we had to give them 60 days to review it before we could respond. And they literally mean 60 days! We tried to call 2 days early and they wouldn't even talk to us until that 60 day mark. Have you ever tried to call the IRS? If you haven't, make sure you have at least an hour to spare while you are on hold.

It took them the whole 60 days to come to the conclusion that we need to send in all our tax paperwork (W-2's, receipts, 1099's, etc…) Remind you, it is mid-May and we are getting ready to move in 3 weeks when Doug was going to Germany and I was going to my parents house until August. I explained our situation and we were given a tax advocate. This tax advocate was a gift from God…truly! No more waiting on the phone for an hour, she was kind, prompt, and explained everything in the process. 

This lovely tax advocate explained to me the reason why they are reviewing our taxes is because of our withholding. I asked, what is wrong with our withholding? Well she said…for your taxable income it is really high. Once she went over the numbers with me I saw exactly what I did. I should have entered 108.28 as on my W-2 but instead entered 10828 which the software program I used turned into $10,828. Don't get me wrong, it was my fault and not the software. 

BIG SLAP ON THE FOREHEAD!!!!

I was so embarrassed as I am good at numbers. Especially numbers having to deal with anything accounting or finance! 

All we needed to do was file an amended return and that should have been the end of it……BUT NO……we opened the doors to the IRS and they did not want to give us our money without a fight. It took them 3 months to look at our amended return and decide we needed to verify that Douglas and Cameron were indeed our children we could legally claim on our return. 

WHAT?! I could understand if Doug and I had been married less than how old Douglas was, or if there was previous marriages. But seriously, we had been married for 18 years, Douglas is 18 and Cam is 11 and they are NOW going to question if we are indeed the legal parents. This was a nightmare! They were giving us a 2 week time limit to provide a letter from the schools they attended in 2012 on official letterhead stating we were their parents and they lived with us. Mind you, their previous schools are in NC and we are in Germany. My wonderful tax advocate said, well gather up what you do have and I will plead your case. So, I had report cards, attendance reports, Dougie's final HS transcript and a copy of our orders to Germany showing that the boys belong to us. I'm surprised they took it, but they did. 

So I have been sitting here patiently waiting for the next shoe to drop. Then the government shut down, and I really thought we may not see this tax return until tax time next year. Then….Low and Behold…I log onto our bank account yesterday and there it is! Our tax return! 

After this disaster I have to sit back and reflect on what I did wrong and how I can prevent this from happening again:

• Take your time!
• Do not count on software programs. It should have red flagged the whole return as it made no sense. 
• When a friends mother who is a retired tax accountant offers to look over your return for free…DO IT!!
• Don't put your savings into investments you can't touch until your tax return money actually hits your bank account. Otherwise you are left with nothing to bounce back on and it makes moving overseas that more difficult. 
• If possible, which it wasn't last year due to Doug's deployment, set up your withholdings so you don't get a tax return. Seriously…think about it…the IRS had my money tax free that whole time. I could have put that away and earned some interest with it.  

I'll stop there. This was a big learning experience and a test of my patience. Doug and I handled it pretty well. Although, Doug was none to happy to find out the whole mess started with my one little decimal point!

All Things Pumpkin...

If you were to ask me what my favorite part of the fall season is I would answer, "Pumpkins, of course!" I love baking/cooking with pumpkins. I have already made pumpkin cupcakes, pumpkin oatmeal, pumpkin cookies, and even gave pumpkin chili a try which was delicious! Why wouldn't it be?! I have several pumpkins waiting to be cooked, pureed, and frozen so I can have pumpkin goodness throughout the year. That is if Dougie doesn't make me use it all for pumpkin pies when he comes home during his Christmas break. 

Cameron getting all the guts!

Doug picking out the seeds so he can have some tasty treats later. 

His masterpiece!

Spooky!

Repurposed Barstools...

Due to the long weekend we had some extra time on our hands. Cameron and Doug took advantage of this time to make a desk for his room. I had promised him a desk in his room when we moved to Germany, but due to some unexpected expenditures and the IRS ~more on that in a later post~  we haven't had a lot of extra spending money as we had planned. What I did have was 2 old barstools and Pinterest. I would like to take credit for this creative idea but I stole it from someone else. Never the less, it kept Cameron busy for a while and he got his desk.

Here is what our old barstools looked like beforehand. They were cheap ones from Walmart that I  remember getting a discount due to some minor scratches. I guess the over all theme here is THRIFTY! :)

Cameron choose black for the color of the stools. 

Finished painting.

The picture below is the finished product. Cameron was suppose to take pictures throughout the process but he must of got really involved or left his Dad to do the rest of the work. I think the latter statement is probably what happened. All we had to do was buy a slab of wood for the top of the desk, smaller pieces of wood to make the shelves in the legs of the stools and long wooden screws. I swear Doug has buckets of screws and we didn't have any that were long enough. Isn't that always the case?

Now we need to find a chair or stool, as the desk is taller than a normal desk. And Cameron also stated that he needs his own computer there too. Ha!

Wilhelma Zoo and Botanical Gardens in Stuttgart...

This past weekend Cameron had his first football game in Stuttgart. It was a Saturday morning game and is just over a 2 hour drive. So, we decided to stay in Stuttgart for the weekend and take in some sites. As suggested by some other football parents, we went to the Wilhelma Zoo and Botanical Gardens. I am glad we listened because it was awesome. Now that our boys are older, we are not big zoo explorers anymore. I mean, you never really see anything different. This zoo was beautiful because of the gardens and it was interesting to see how different a German zoo is. First, we noticed they let you get pretty darn close to the animals. Furthermore, we saw some type of vermin get fed their meal of whole dead baby chicks. I was disturbed, but it seemed to be status quo. 

Since all the signs were in German, we weren't able to translate the animals we were unsure of. But this type of monkey we have never seen before. We called them, "Mustache Monkeys".

Cameron hanging out with a gorilla made of logs.

And an elephant

Cam and I are blurry in this one, but I like how it captured the landscape. 

These slugs were all over and are HUGE!

These big lily pads had to be at least 4 feet in diameter. 

Botanical Garden

I big drop of water on a leaf.

Such a strange flower. Cam said they were bee's butts sticking out. 

Home Sweet Home...

Okay...for those of you begging for pictures of our house I have given you something better...VIDEO! For the most part we are unpacked with the exception of the basement. We still need to decide what goes into the garage and organize. I would love to go buy more stuff for the house, but we are also looking at going to Paris in October and Rome in November. The "stuff" will have to wait! 

FIrst Day of School...

Monday was the first day of school for Cameron. He is now a 6th grader at Ramstein Middle School...GO RAMS! Surprisingly he was pretty calm in the days leading up to the first day. If you know Cam, you know he has anxiety. On Monday the school had the parents go with their child in the morning. During this time they did a dry run of the daily schedule with all 7 periods only lasting 10 minutes. This gave Cam and I the opportunity to find his classes together. Excellent idea! And since he has been playing football already, he ran into some of his teammates in the hall and in the classroom. I felt good leaving Cam that morning as he was in smiles.

Then I had a big goof.....

I forgot to tell Cam what bus stop was his. We didn't take it in the morning, so Cam didn't know what it looked like. So once the bus started to go he just stayed on and with every stop he got more scared. He kept looking for me at every stop but I wasn't there.

So...during this time. I am walking to what I think is the bus stop. Mind you, I only looked it up on the map and never went to physically find it. It was just up the road 2 blocks and on the right. By the way, German blocks are like 3 times larger than American blocks, just saying. Needless to say, I got lost. I knew the name of the street and 2 blocks up wasn't that street. So, I start to walk around looking for a group of parents standing somewhere. Finally, just one more block up was his bus stop. I was literally 30 seconds late.

By the time I got to Cam he took one look at me and just broke down crying. Poor kid was so scared because he knew this was the last stop and he had NO IDEA where he was at. Yep, take back my Mom of the Year award. I felt like the biggest piece of crap ever.

Garden..

The house we are renting here in Germany has come with a garden. It is really neat, but Doug and I tend to kill anything living in an outdoor setting. The owners of the house have been taking care of it and showed up yesterday to tend to it. I am hoping that they continue as we are loving the produce coming out of it. As far as I can tell we have: cherries, apples, raspberries, blackberries, strawberries, rhubarb, chives, dill, and some sort of hot pepper. There are two trees that have some sort of fruit on them, but we have no idea what they are. Anybody know?

Garden at the end of the driveway

Any idea? They are about as big as a grape. 

These have a fuzzy exterior and a pit inside. Some sort of plum?

Fresh berries on my ice cream..YUM!

We made it...

Cameron and I made to it Germany safe and sound Tuesday afternoon (early Tuesday morning stateside). Our travels were pretty uneventful as all our flights went smoothly. Cameron did have a little meltdown right when we were boarding our plane in Baltimore to head to Ramstein. He was so tired, as this flight was at 11:30pm and our first flight of the day was 6:45am, he starting crying and freaking out saying he didn’t want to go. Poor little guy. He finally calmed down and we boarded then his tears turned into slumber for the next 7 hours of the flight, thank goodness! Once he saw his Daddy at the passenger terminal he was all better. He is such a Daddy’s boy.

Since Tuesday we haven’t been doing a whole lot except cleaning the house. It was (still is, but my body is super sore) very dirty! The house we are in is a very traditional German house, lots of rooms, no closets to speak of, and a VERY tiny kitchen. I nearly cried when I saw it. We did manage to make a trip to IKEA, which is about an hour away. I can’t go anywhere by myself yet as I do not have a German driver’s license. I will take the test soon, but I am putting it off because the driving scares the crap out of me. First of all, the streets are tiny here and people just whiz in and out of them. Second, every intersection seems to be a roundabout. Last, no matter how much I pay attention I cannot get my bearings as to where we are and I have a pretty keen sense of direction.

On August 20^th, the movers will be delivering our stuff. The loaner furniture we have is just as comfortable as concrete so it will be a good day. I have been taking pictures with my cell phone, but it isn’t set correctly so I can’t get the pictures off of it yet. Speaking of cell phones, I got another iPhone so for those of you who have an Apple device send me your number or Apple ID and we can text for free. Also, once we get our household stuff I will be better at updating. We have internet but forgot to bring one of our wireless routers with us. So, we are stuck to plugging into the computer the old fashion way and I am just not very good about getting on with it. Pretty pathetic, huh?! Once we get our household items too we will work on getting a stateside number so everyone can call us. So stay tuned…pictures and more updates to follow. 

Summer Highlights...

At this moment, Cam and I are sitting in the Baltimore airport waiting for our flight to Germany. I can’t believe this day is here. It’s bittersweet. I’m sad that Dougie isn’t here with us and it will be a few years before we get stateside again. But I am anxious to get settled in our new home, explore Europe and establish our new “normal”. I had a great summer though. Here are just some highlights:

• Seeing Dougie graduate from high school and celebrating with tons of family in Rapid City. It is always SO GOOD to see extended family, as I don’t get to see them as much as I like.
• Spending time with my nieces, Lilly and Ella. They are just growing up too fast. Next time I visit I will have a nephew to add to the mix. That will be interesting to see them with a little boy in the house.
• Taking Dougie to college. Even though it was an emotionally tough experience, I am so excited for Dougie.
• Hanging out and re-connecting with my old girlfriends.
• Going to Denver with my friend Margo to see some concerts.

·       This summer has just gone by too fast, but now I have new adventures to be had…